:X

hello you. yes you. the one who texted me for so long, i am not sure if you will read this, but, if you do, then yeah..you are pretty mad right now, and i ruined it once again. gosh i shouldn't have done it but damn i feel like crying now. how can i do this to someone as nice as you. I'm really mean,but i don't want the bad things to build up until the point where it explodes, so i had to pull the trigger before it gets even worse.(like a self-bombing terrorist explode before she reach places with more people and cause more damage)

looking back to 2011 where it all started i was really confused how can i turn from that to this, today. i wasn't the same person i used to be and i changed. I'm not exactly the same anymore so i couldn't do it anymore. i admit that i am such a bi-ch for doing this.i made promises, and i broke it, i dont wanna continue saying things that lost its meaning sometimes and now i just want to say sorry for ruining everything.i cant sleep since i did that. I took you for granted as a great very close special friend, but this time i don't want to lose you as a friend. it hurts to know the fact that we are just, close in a weird way, not in real life. i lost my faith on it.this is very very unfair for you, because its like putting in time and effort and patience towards something and in the end, it did not work. actually we weren't together like, in real life and somehow it was like something between friends and being together to me, im not sure about that with you...i read some article somewhere before. about having different perspectives.

like this optical illusion :

it could've been us seeing it differently, you might see an old lady and i might see a young lady. let's say this picture is about us, and what i feel about it is different than what you feel about it. i guess i had different perspective upon this relationship.

this is pretty dramatic like, it only happens in movies or i might be overly describing it.

but i hope we can still be comfortable with each other and im sorry for this.

you've been really really great and nice so don't blame yourself.

you deserve better, you know that?

so let's get back to somewhere we both can be comfortable.

i'm very mean, ain't i?

thank you so much for being with me all these times, and i regret to have you being so disappointed.

i really really appreciate how sincere you are to me, and how patient you are.

don't overthink about this alright?