b.x.

I feel like Wednesday was an aftermath thingy. i feel so sorry for the other person. i dont even know what im doing. seems like keeping a distance is the only way. And also! Talked to Qing on the phone yesterday. Pentagon Theory! srsly it is so true. and i can only describe briefly how the aftermath happened. and its something like this... so this is how it happened. Im still very messed up and confused. i need to set boudaries. the line between personal and not personal but this is odd. gahhh i srsly dont know what to do or what to say. and i even dreamt of our class attending a talk of BGR at school. how stupid was my dream. can someone give me a hint of what to do?im so confused. i need Confucius here omg.

I can't believe i such a female dog. why am i so sensitive and why do i over think? it started normally but suddenly whoosh, i woke up, realizing that i am actually repeating the biggest mistake of my life. How can i do this? I started to feel uncomfortable, and seems like everything i do, since then, every single second of it, is wrong, every second i'm in it, it feels like i betray Qing and Iza, and even myself. I'm so disappointed of myself, how can i disappoint my friends. This is a lesson learned. I even make the same biggest mistake so i have two big mistakes now. so.... well. i seriously wanna stab myself to forget and slap myself to stay awake. Innocence? Failed. Promise? Broken. Best friends? Disappointed. Big lesson learned. I must : build up innocence push everything away keep a distance be stable to not to fall too easily always remember about the mistakes done think twice before i speak be more faithful of God, believe that He is giving me c

#archived  11/11/2011, 10:23:00 PM   One day, we will be remembered. OMG we cried. and i hugged almost everyone. and i actually cried in class but its a small one. i started thinking of graduation songs and then like.. oh no.. its the last time i will pass through the door of 2A4. and i cried. then we headed to pn ong there and i hugged her and i cried again. later on we went canteen. and i stopped crying. then we all play truth or truth.. we all told the names of the person we had the biggest crush on in class. blah blahblah. then jingkang started crying. we all were touched and ... goina cry alr. then he stopped and chilled. suddenly isabel and some people cry. and we all started crying and hugging each other. the bell rang. Dismissal. omg. no pls no. we cried even harder. and.... even until the gate of school . i was thinking, oh not again , its our last time to walk through the gate! i cried even harder. then it was the end of our journey. i walked on my own.