The final blow hits you,

I can't believe i such a female dog. why am i so sensitive and why do i over think?

it started normally but suddenly whoosh, i woke up, realizing that i am actually repeating the biggest mistake of my life. How can i do this? I started to feel uncomfortable, and seems like everything i do, since then, every single second of it, is wrong, every second i'm in it, it feels like i betray Qing and Iza, and even myself. I'm so disappointed of myself, how can i disappoint my friends.

This is a lesson learned. I even make the same biggest mistake so i have two big mistakes now. so....
well. i seriously wanna stab myself to forget and slap myself to stay awake.

Innocence? Failed.
Promise? Broken.
Best friends? Disappointed.

Big lesson learned.
I must :

• build up innocence
• push everything away
• keep a distance
• be stable to not to fall too easily
• always remember about the mistakes done
• think twice before i speak
• be more faithful of God, believe that He is giving me challenges in life to make me stronger
• pray more often for the strength in handling problems in life

And also, not all correct paths brings you to the correct results.

there is always a good side in any bad things that happen,

I must be grateful for the lessons He gave, for the struggles He granted in developing a stronger , faithful me.

I shall always remember He loves me and everyone, as He is the God, father in heavens.

And I want to thank Qing and Iza for being there when i needed, to listen and help , at the same time, convince, comfort, and lecture me. I appreciate the presence of you2 in my life, and i believe that God granted me both of you, and i believe you2 are the biggest blessings i ever have. I hope God bless these two ladies in their life. 

No matter what religion we are. 

Because, these things will change, can you feel it now? #Change - Taylor Swift.

I just realized everything i have is someday gonna be gone. # Never Grow Up - Taylor Swift