b.x.

 “An individual with multiple personalities can change their body chemistry with their thoughts.”  (Dr. Karen Fletcher, Kevin's psychologist) Revealed in the quote above, Split is a thought-provoking film about mental health. As an introduction,  Split is a horror-thriller film starring James McAvoy, Anya Taylor-Joy, Betty Buckley and more . Premiered in the annual film festival, “Fantastic Fest” on 26 th of September, 2016, it was released under Universal Pictures in the United States on 20 th of January, 2017 ( Hoffman, 2016 ). This film was a brainchild of M. Night Shyamalan, a director, producer, writer, as well as actor for multiple popular films such as The Sixth Sense (1999), Unbreakable (2000), and Signs (2002). As it is directed and written by M. Night Shyamalan, Split bears the special characteristics of his films; Split was filled with contemporary supernatural, horror, mysterious elements, all heading to a surprise twist in the ending. Furthermo...

We went rafting the other day, I secretly wanted something, some kind accident to happen to me so I could die. I drove very quickly that day. I went 130 km/h, secretly wanted to get hit and die fast and unknowingly. We went to get x-ray for examination of TB infection. I secretly hoped that I got it so I could die off like that and take no responsibility upon my death. I realized how selfish I am when it comes to my own death. I want to die alone and not share it with anyone. Is it my right to choose my death? Sometimes I catch myself laughing from heart, genuinely towards a really lame but authentic 9gag joke. Then, it posed as a tiny glimmer of hope to me that I am able to laugh, finally a true laugh, a real feeling. Before I get to truly grasp at it, it collapsed and disappeared before I could let myself accept it. Sometimes I see young children having innocent gestures and asking out of pure curiosity, and I catch myself smiling at it because I missed how people could be nice ...

I'm truly sick and tired of living. I can't feel anything anymore. I think as I numbed my overwhelming emotions, I lost myself. Empty. A blackhole of nothing. I honestly don't mind if I die right now. Give me pain so I can feel again. No attachments, no feelings. Other than physical pain which makes me feel a tiny bit alive, I think I am entirely dead inside. What is living, if you don't taste anything in your mouth, you don't feel any emotions, nothing can make you happy nor sad anymore. You start faking your laugh because it is "funny", you start to cry but no tears are falling because it is "sad". I thought being sad or down was the worst but I guess this has no competition. They say sleep deficiency can kill you. Sleeping late suddenly felt like the steps to silently, gradually, secretly kill myself. What's the point in living, when there's only the physical body left, but the soul, mind and spirit have died and disappeared? The...

I dreamt of mummy ,daddy, da Yee, and myself, something related to yeye and car accidents. It made me woke up crying like shit. Why can it be so scary and depressing? It hurts a lot but I don't know how it came. I don't know how to feel. It just hurts a lot. It's very emotionally painful that I want to kill myself. It reminded me of that dream where I got molested by an uncle because of my dress and nobody believed it, not even my parents and I woke up crying in my car. I've never felt so helpless and hopeless before. Dreams, please don't wish for them to come true. It haven't happened but it can hurt so real and so intensely already. I died again inside, today afternoon.