b.x.

I feel like Wednesday was an aftermath thingy. i feel so sorry for the other person. i dont even know what im doing. seems like keeping a distance is the only way. And also! Talked to Qing on the phone yesterday. Pentagon Theory! srsly it is so true. and i can only describe briefly how the aftermath happened. and its something like this... so this is how it happened. Im still very messed up and confused. i need to set boudaries. the line between personal and not personal but this is odd. gahhh i srsly dont know what to do or what to say. and i even dreamt of our class attending a talk of BGR at school. how stupid was my dream. can someone give me a hint of what to do?im so confused. i need Confucius here omg.

I can't believe i such a female dog. why am i so sensitive and why do i over think? it started normally but suddenly whoosh, i woke up, realizing that i am actually repeating the biggest mistake of my life. How can i do this? I started to feel uncomfortable, and seems like everything i do, since then, every single second of it, is wrong, every second i'm in it, it feels like i betray Qing and Iza, and even myself. I'm so disappointed of myself, how can i disappoint my friends. This is a lesson learned. I even make the same biggest mistake so i have two big mistakes now. so.... well. i seriously wanna stab myself to forget and slap myself to stay awake. Innocence? Failed. Promise? Broken. Best friends? Disappointed. Big lesson learned. I must : build up innocence push everything away keep a distance be stable to not to fall too easily always remember about the mistakes done think twice before i speak be more faithful of God, believe that He is giving me c

#archived  11/11/2011, 10:23:00 PM   One day, we will be remembered. OMG we cried. and i hugged almost everyone. and i actually cried in class but its a small one. i started thinking of graduation songs and then like.. oh no.. its the last time i will pass through the door of 2A4. and i cried. then we headed to pn ong there and i hugged her and i cried again. later on we went canteen. and i stopped crying. then we all play truth or truth.. we all told the names of the person we had the biggest crush on in class. blah blahblah. then jingkang started crying. we all were touched and ... goina cry alr. then he stopped and chilled. suddenly isabel and some people cry. and we all started crying and hugging each other. the bell rang. Dismissal. omg. no pls no. we cried even harder. and.... even until the gate of school . i was thinking, oh not again , its our last time to walk through the gate! i cried even harder. then it was the end of our journey. i walked on my own.

#archived  10/24/2011, 10:37:00 PM So, just now my mum bought the mixture of flour and things to make chocolate muffins. And its really really convenient because you only have to add like, eggs , water, and oil to it and mix just using fork, and fill it into the decorative small cupcake paper cups and bake them in the oven! and that's it. It was really really delicious, and i feel very happy and proud , as in like, 满足感。 so it rises when its in the oven and its so amazing, it just grows like that, ( i wish i can grow that fast lol) some even overflow, because we scoop too much of the bater into the cup. My first time baking! and i feel great, and i want more! here are some pictures of the baking thing, and i hope that me, Qing, and Iza will be baking together! (lol im so gay lah. ) Some of it were not cooked yet, so.. ended up in the oven longer lol. the one at the most left is the one that overflow. looks funny lah. and this is the closer closer view of the muf

#Archive #10/23/2011, 9:47:00 PM So, as we planned, we went to the curve today! (yay!) So , Qing's sister fetch us there, and we walked quite a long distance to find McDonald's lol.(then we realize its actually about 20 steps away from the place we we dropped off , and we felt so DERP. )then, Iza came! (yay!) with her mom, and we talk about stuff and laughed a lot! then, Shin Wei came! (yay!) so we went Cotton On, first, and they have a lot of nice nice clothes, and we took some and tried on our clothes! and when i am trying to take off my jeans, my socks are too loose then it got stuck in my jeans ahahah. but i liked all the things we all tried! well, i tried on a tank top, and a skirt,ended up like this, which i can't afford, like :(not exactly like that in picture, so...) And for my feet comfort, i bought a pair of slippers, RM 15, but iza's skirt is so expensive, and i bought another bracelet to replace it, which is RM2. LOL. quite nice actually,

My gosh seriously, i'm so bored of studying. Can someone give me tips on studying? and Chinese, seriously, its so hard to understand why is it so complicated? and Wifi connection up here is so weak. i woke up at 11 something today. i feel so derp again. well i don't think there will be anyone that will read this so i sound like i am talking to myself lately. wow i feel like i sakit jiwa or something. i dont even know what am i talking about. Lately, i got to bed at 12 and i can only fall asleep at 3 and i wake up at like... 11 something. so freaking unhealthy lah. i still have ermm maths, science, KH , moral, sejarah, geografi, and more to cover. and i dont really have much time left. about two days and a half.  And since Qing tagged me and some other people for a boyce avenue music thingy, Dude, the lady beside the guy , i think her name is Tiffany Alvord , she is so pretty and she has great vocal! she can be a great singer.  And lately this song is so stuck up in my mind

Woah it just rained. ahahha. I want to see my dad's pregnant guppies to give birth lah! kay i hope that line above doesn't bother you. So its been quite long since my last post. i feel so sorry to my blog. like a mother who gave life to a baby and she  go and throw the baby away. i feel guilty like the mother. LOL. and now final exam is freaking near, in fact it started lol. how do i explain. but anyways this blog is so forever alone so i deleted cbox and mixpod and a lot of things. and The hypp tv , got dunno what guru medidation error thingy , and it is blocking half of the screen. WTH? i need to study, but i dont want to, can anyone in the world study with me so i wont feel so damn bored while revising? i think tonight iza invited me and qing over her house but i guess all of us cant make it! so sad. ahhh i feel so derp. wait i wonder what is a derp shown in picture. wait i google image first. LOL wth . i do feel like that now. i dont wanna study ahhhhhhh, s